Hello dear fellow who stumbles apon my ramblings,

first of all please note this is NOT about getting pity of any kind or anything like it. i just want to raise awaireness wherever i can for the subject.

In my last Deviation i descriped feelings and states of mind of victims of rape. well so to say i wanted to get my own feelings down on paper as i remember them and still cary them with me. i was raped when i was 12 by a total stranger in a park, now im 25 and luckily survived without going insane. as it mostly happens i pushied it aside and only remembered it with 21. after i dealed with it myself i began telling others what happened to me and why i was so sick for 2 years. some of the reactions i got back then and am still getting now are the reason i am writing this journal entry.

for me the reaction of the community as often more harsh than dealing with it all. often i got looks of disguise, i even got thrown out of a room full of students because i dared to speak about it. people always like to be upset about rape and all but they dont realy want to be confronted with it. when it stays theoretical they can pretend it doesnt realy happen. the social stigma is something i can bear, i never realy cared about society anyway but this is one major reason so many victiomsare afraid to get forward. so please, if somebody tells you he or she was a victim, just listen to them. i can imagine it is hard to hear and you often feel helpless and dont know what to say. but when people are ready to talk about it they dealt with it and mostly just need somebody to listen. so just listen and please dont pity.

sadly rape is more common than one might think. please help that the victims dont need to feel ashamed anymore.